Listening

It's Sunday and traditionally this is a day for reflection. Although I'm not planning to go to church today I occasionally enjoy listening to a sermon when it's given by a particularly enlightened and sometimes witty priest. I think I've written before about how I find it important to take time out to think about life and where I'm going. I suppose because I don't have children to worry about I have more time to do this but it's always been essential to me. I'm pretty sure that if I don't pause and reflect on what's happening internally and externally I end up lost in confusion and wondering where the hell I'm going with all my stuff. 


Listening is an incredibly important part of life. It's almost a skill that one needs to learn. When I was a child it felt good to be with an adult who listened to me and I felt understood me. It seems to me to be the essence of what makes up a good relationship. It matters in friendship as well of course. If I'm with a close friend the conversation is a delicate balance between listening to what he or she has to say and me talking about my things. I often catch myself impatiently talking before my friend has even finished what they need to say and I find it quite annoying in myself. 


How do we train ourselves to listen? Sit and be quiet. It's really quite simple but actually rather hard for most people to do. We're so used to being active and thinking of all the things that need to be done. But  you can do it. I think the technical term for it is meditation but I prefer to think of it as just a bit of quiet time. If you can do that then you are in a good position to be attentive to what's important around you and it makes it a lot easier to listen. If you're busy, busy, busy all the time you become a pain in the neck and sometime even a bit mad. I find it hard to be with really pushy people who only seem to listen to what's going on inside them and can't hear what anyone else has to say. I don't know what's causing it. Maybe they're totally self-absorbed and can't hear what anyone else is saying or perhaps it's because they're totally insensitive and couldn't give a damn. Who knows?


All I know is that I like to be around people who do take time to listen to each other. I'm trying to get better at it myself although I know that sometimes it's not always easy. When you're in emotional pain however I know it's one of the essential things that help you get better. My mum used to say that therapy was the great talking cure and I'm sure that's true but it's good to learn how to listen as well and not just be in the position where you are the one getting it all off your chest. I suppose it's a question of balance.


Anyway that's all I have to say for today. I can't write this without acknowledging that my blog is of course my way of getting my ideas out there. Hopefully I don't come across as too egocentric and I like to think of it as like sending postcards to friends around the world. The feedback is good too!